Did Moses shield himself from lightning strikes and falling boulders? How could he talk to God that way? I checked more traditional translations. They stood in agreement. God promised deliverance and brought nothing.

Moses's anger mirrored memories of a time when it seemed the only One who could do something, wouldn't.

My husband's, already sliced, income suddenly and absolutely ended; ironically at Thanksgiving. Though our Christmas are typically modest, this one felt like a hole in my heart.

I doubted God's promises, or at least who they were intended for. I became convinced that I hadn't served God well enough to earn His blessings. Yet, I didn't have strength to do more.

I wanted to give up, but didn't know how. I wanted to tell God to leave me alone; but what if He did? We had no financial resources.

Christmas was difficult, but hints of hope surfaced. We wrapped family heirlooms for our children; my siblings gifted us with groceries.

Deliverance was a process more than an event. My husband wasn't healed, making employment possible. Though in a battle, few win, we were granted disability payments. We did not lose our town-home and we were delivered from a life time of boxed mac and cheese! I remember how grateful I felt to add hamburger to a casserole.

I poked my head out of that deep dark hole. With baby steps, I began to trust God. He is faithful. We have never been without food, shelter, or transportation.

It would be years before I faced the works mentality that crippled me. But I distinctly remember this as the time I came to believe that God loved and cared for our family as His children.

I began to call Him, Father.