I want to tell you of “His Saving Grace,” of His love for me when I definitely had no love for myself.
February 2, 2002 was the day God revealed Himself to me.
February 2, 2002 was the day I knew beyond a doubt that God loves me.
To understand fully, I must go back in time. No need to give a detailed account of my past because what
happened is a common occurrence today. See, I became addicted to crack cocaine. The drug
encompassed my very being. I no longer functioned in society, the society I was raised in; the society which
instilled morals and values; the society where people were productive, striving for excellence; the society
where children were nurtured and molded to become productive citizens themselves. I became a member
of a society of people “chasing a feeling.”
I threw my life away and chose not to go after success by way of hard work, endurance and goal setting.
Instead I, ingested a chemical that gave me the feeling of success but, of course, that feeling was simply a
false sense of success. When I wasn’t “getting high,” reality showed me what a shamble I had made of my
life; but, instead of stepping up to the plate to take responsibility, I tucked tail and ran back to the chemical
that gave me the false belief that “all was well.”
Throughout the span of my addiction, I frequented areas that were prone to police surveillance, which led to
my occasional arrests and subsequent incarcerations. On October 6, 2001 I was arrested. Today the
knowledge and understanding I have of my Lord and Savior, I realize that I was not arrested; I was actually
“redeemed.” Yes, redeemed from the pit of hell I dug for myself.
While incarcerated, God placed on my heart to seek forgiveness from the people I had wronged. Being
overloaded with remorse and guilt, (guilt can kill), I listened to His Spirit and began writing. For some
reason, not known to me then, I concentrated my letter writing efforts on my father, Arthur W. Browne. I
asked him to forgive me for not being a good daughter to him. He was in his twilight years of his life (87
years old); he needed me to help him with his daily routine but due to my preoccupation with crack, I didn’t
see his needs.
I began calling my father from jail. We spoke of things of great worth. He said “Pat, change your life around.
Serve God, family and community while you still have time.” My father forgave me; my guilt was laid to rest-
all due to God’s redemption and saving grace. Little did I know that from 10-06-01 to 2-2-02 God was
preparing me, making the way smooth, for on 2-2-02 my father, Arthur W. Browne, died.
God tells us that His ways are higher than our ways; truly they are. My experience of being led by the Spirit
brought me to a place of rest, that PEACE that comes only from “HIS SAVING GRACE.”