It was only seventy nine in the tropics, but I was burning up. The fried, black skin on my back required me to lay on my stomach, leaving me with lots of unfettered and slack time on my hands for contemplating the carelessness of my life.

I've dealt with the event earmarked with such insouciance, but this enforced inactivity was leaving me with nothing but facing myself and my childish behavior.

Scattered readings in Psalms left me wondering, a few chapters of Job and then for a moment my wounds, then both physical and spiritual pain halted for a short time. What was this? We may approach God?

I had been pretty much afraid of my dad for all of my teen years...even as we all worked for a mission. I'd just finished a fascinating trip to the Amarakaeri tribe just above Brazil, and now was ignominiously on my face to save my back from possible skin grafts for a jocular but very immature choice.

I didn't feel free about anything, much less to pray to a God Who seemed at the very least, stern and unsmiling. Finally, in a melting humility, already face down before the Lord, I began to pray into my warm pillow, "Jesus? Lord, God? Look, I get it that I was pretty dumb being out exposed like that. I don't feel real confident right now, but I want to start talking to You and maybe this is a better way to open a door than my missionary kid six pack pride! Help me understand just HOW to choose a less arduous path with You than this!"

The door was open! Even in my physical misery, I felt a load shift off! Oh, I'd repeat this as temptions eroded my focus, but I returned to the humility with which God met me there in my pain, embarrassment and codeine stultified rest. I felt free and could see the grace of God on my life. Seventeen isn't a bad age to know God's grace.

Freedom to approach God is a V8 of energy, lifting the spirit and empowering the soul. We do well when we learn the balance between the abject nature of humility with the cloud soaring joy of confidence. God is approachable!

Thank You Lord for your power and gift of faith that we may "unload" to You!