There are many ways in which people describe and relate to the meaning of the word joy, for example, feeling the elation of seeing a beloved best friend after a long absence, landing that job you’ve always wanted with a great salary, purchasing your dream home in the mountains or by the coast, being in love for the first time, watching your child take their first step, having a lush bank account that affords you all the pleasures in life - the list goes on and on.

But what about when these initial moments of elation pass and real life settles back into the ordinary and mundane, or those of us who have never experienced the ‘good’ life in all it’s worldly joy because somehow it has forever remained ‘just out of our reach,’ or worse yet, has crumbled right before our very eyes for whatever reason or circumstance life has thrown our way. How do we maintain our feelings of joy in the routine and ordinary moments with no apparent reprieve in sight, or in the feeling of hopelessness that comes with the perspective of a life unfulfilled?

There is a saying about how to be joyful that circulates social media. It reads: “One of the quickest ways back to joy: Let go of how you think things should be and begin to accept them as they are.” For many, especially during hard times, when bank accounts are empty, or family is scarce, this can be a mouthful to swallow.

Yet, I have experienced the wisdom of this saying several times in an alternative format that basically states the same thing as it relates to happiness. Every time I read it, it’s as if the Lord himself has sent me a reminder that just because not every aspect of my life is how I always dreamt it would be or just because my life does not match the expectations of how I (or others) think it should be does not mean I can’t feel joyous or that I am less than and should somehow destine myself to a life of feeling sad and hopeless about my plight.

In fact, by letting go of ‘how I think things should be’ and embracing them in all their dysfunctional glory I am actually more aware of the little things, the meaningful things that God has placed in my life. And somehow, the temporary worldly joy (or sadness that often accompanies the feelings of emptiness that come from things not being as how we want them to be) is magically replaced by a feeling of internal joy as I look to God for the source of my strength to carry on, to be the author and finisher of my joy and happiness.

Psalms 28:7 (NLT) says, “The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.”

Joy, real lasting joy, is not found in the worldly pleasures of this life like the perfect job, a full bank account, a tree bursting with Christmas presents just waiting to be opened, or a home filled with family (although those things are nice to have). Rather, it is found in the presence of the Lord in my life and all the meaningful things that do work out (being able to leave work early to watch my children play sports), the small things that are actually ‘huge’ under the surface (receiving an unexpected helping hand just in the nick of time), and the special moments spent with my children (cuddling on the couch on a lazy Saturday night).

No matter how many circumstances there are in our lives that we wish were different, and no matter how long it takes to reach our goals and fulfill our callings, lasting internal God-given joy can always be found when we take our focus off how we think things should be and instead place our trust in him in the midst of how they actually are.

Romans 15:13 (NLT) says, “I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Letting go of how we think things should be and accepting how they are by placing our trust in the Lord to lead our lives through our faith in Jesus Christ, while exercising confident hope for the future is the way to experiencing lasting internal joy in the midst of the ordinary, mundane and empty hopelessness this life sometimes provides.

The more focused we are on relishing in the little moments, being thankful for the helping hand he does provide, trusting in his plan and looking toward him with faith and expectant hope for the direction of our lives, the easier it is to shift our focus off of how we think things should be, the more we are able to accept them as they are, and the more we experience real and lasting joy.

Won’t you join me in this journey of letting go of how we think things should be, excepting how things are and bursting out in songs of thanksgiving for a God who so willingly fills our hearts with real joy if we will only trust him and look to him, no matter the conditions of our bank accounts or the circumstances of our lives.