Single words will trigger my unbidden tears; my body will quake with sobs I cannot forcibly abate. What kind of man am I to feel such anguish, yet....when she was with me, we wept arm in arm.

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

Now, I have to be mom and dad for three, whose broken hearts lean on me. They will be strong when I am, so I bring as much laughter into our lives as I can. The older the humor, the more we chortle in both mirth and relief.

Life has turned on its head, so that the most beautiful things sometimes frighten me, and the plainest of common objects elicit a smile. Grief breaks the stream of routine into disconnected fragments and humiliating exposures. The surf seems the most connected of all natural motions.

Only God's word provides a thread through it all, so that the path at the floor of the valley is lit with soft warm light from His heart. This is the reason I live by faith, not my limited eyes.